Being a Family

Hello Friends,

A fitting salutation, friendship is an aspect of my journey that is probably the most influential. Through my 9 years as a rugby player at both Barrie Central Collegiate and McMaster University I came across a vast array of different people, personalities, and demographics. However, these groups of individuals became more than just teammates; they became my friends and family. The goal in which my high school coaches had was to become a family, more than anything. We were an elite team, who commonly would win championships, but in the end if we didn’t become a family – we lost.

The men – and occasional women – who were involved with the team became friends and family through a great many ways. The first of which is just the shear amount of time that you spend with each other. In high school we were together from sun up to sun down. We would practice after school, during lunch break, and occasionally before classes. We ate together, we trained together, and we played together. At university it was the same, except we didn’t go home, we would be living together too.  The locker room became our bedroom, our field became our backyard.  

With the sport of rugby, after the long hot days tackling, sweating, and bleeding there is no more room left for macho attitudes. We would bond through common exhaustion. Those who shared injuries would be come closer. If your trainer taped you up, or worked out a muscle, they became your god-sent. During the early days of the season, ice baths was necessary and a place where men shed any sense of dignity hopping inside the icy water and letting out a squeal as your boys went for a polar dip. Friendship came quickly.

Coach became a father and friend in one fell swoop. They were always there to support you in all aspects of life – more than just performance on the field or the gym. They went through the same life that you are going through. They have done the same stupid things you have done, and been in the same sticky situations. They were always there for guidance and advice, and when needed – a kick in the ass for being an idiot. These men and women of the coaching and managerial staff became your rugby mom and dad – they weren’t perfect, but you wouldn’t change them for the world.

One of the biggest forms of bonding was through the social events that were commonly hosted. A very unique thing about rugby is that after every game the home team hosts the opponent to a full meal spread and drinks afterward. As mentioned before, we are so sore and drained after a game that all you want is a full meal and a full pint. It was common to see two guys who may have been in a full on fist fight an hour earlier on the field buying each other drinks at the bar.

Regardless of what day the game falls on usually enough beers are consumed that a party is thrown after the game… celebrating a victory or drinking away the loss. This is where rookies had a chance to prove themselves in the ring of drinking games, anecdotes, or ridiculous pickup lines. Immortal fame in the eyes of the rugby team was usually discovered at these social gatherings.

Being away from the sport I have joined a prestigious crew of gentlemen who now alumni of the program. It is an interesting situation. All events are still open for alumni attendance, and I am revered by the new rookies, but I don’t feel the same as I used to with them. The love for my former family is still strong as ever, but I don’t feel the bliss of a cold beer after a hard fought victory, or the camaraderie of sharing an injury with a fellow team member. There will always be a place for me in my rugby families, but I have transitioned to a different place.

The men and women in my rugby family are just as special to me as my own family. They have loved and supported me, made me become the man that I am.

 I am better because of them.